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Archive for the ‘On Miscellany’ Category

Yeah, so I believe my last post was entitled And It Emerged From The Depths…  I should have added – Then Slunk Back.

I haven’t posted in recent…months (geez has it been that long?) despite promises to myself (so easily broken – God, I’m in such an unfaithful relationship with my Id, Ego and Super-Ego (who I like to call Fred)).

Okay, so let’s get the excuses over and done with.  Why do bloggers always offer excuses for not blogging?  It’s like apologising for eating all the chocolate cake (something I often do – quietly, so the children don’t find me mwahahaha – I’m so devious).  Ah, anyway, on to my excuses before I run over my word count.

I…

Had a baby (4.110kg/9lbs 1 ounce) which kept me nauseous and exhausted for oh, about 9 months.

Wrote an 80k manuscript whilst being nauseous, exhausted and expectant.

Became a finalist in the RWAustralia Emerald and the San Diego RWA SIRContest.

Was briefly on the run from the police in the Italian Alps in a stolen Veyron (my dream car) with a Faberge egg and a poodle named Alphonse.

Wrote a cantata while learning the harmonica in the Appalachians.

Okay, so I made those last two up.  I loathe poodles and can’t speak Italian, nor play the harmonica.

Suffice to say, I’m back and shall endeavour to be here more often around the needs of  small human people who inhabit my house (as well as the larger hairy one*) and the sequel to my manuscript which is demanding exit from brain onto computer.

I had better go train my Dragon** now, but I shan’t be too far away.  There’ll be a little some-some on my other blog if you’d care to wander over.

*This would be my husband.  I do not have a large hairy house, despite my best endeavours.

**Dragon Dictate that is ; )

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I was invited, quite some time ago, but the estimable Liana of Crummy Novels, (http://crummynovels.wordpress.com) to join her on Google +, the answer to those fed up with the time sink that is FB.

Being generally slack, and on the run from giant gerbils from the Andromeda Galaxy, I did not immediately take up her generous offer.

Getting back to the 20 million emails in my inbox, I saw that quite a number of people were having extremely vexatious problems with FB.

Being a homo sapien who finds social media a wee bit overrated (who really cares about the fact Kelly has acquired a new set of fake nails!!! and is just so hungover!!! but is enjoying the new ‘find your soulmate puppy’ app!!!)I was wary.   There are so many social platforms to choose from – was I picking the correct one with which to launch my writerly genius on an unsuspecting public?

FB is, as I may have mentioned, a way in which to waste time without quite realising it.  I’ve not got into Twitter for I am far too verbose to get a message across in such a limited word count and would end

up cutting it off and having to post another tweet just to finish

what I was saying.

So I was circling Google circles warily, much like a mouse would a piece of cheese suspiciously left on a metal plate mounted on a wooden platform.

Feeling like the only person on the planet (apart from Ms Liana) who had heard of Google + (and feeling rather smug at being ahead on new things for a change), I was rather startled to discover that any number of my writerly friends, possibly having got the shits with FB, have joined and starting circling on the Google.

Discovering that I will not be a Nigel with only one Google friend – I have decided to dip my toe back into the foetid waters of the social media wave and circle like a shark in a feeding frenzy.

Or maybe just a guppy with only one pectoral fin.

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Yep, I’m about to make excuses for being awol from not only this blog, but my other blog and my writing loop.  Just to make things interesting, I shall be giving a variety of excuses for you, dear reader, to choose from.  Just in case one doesn’t gel with your view of things, you can choose one that might.

So here they are, in no particular order:

The dog ate my laptop. A new spin on an old excuse.  (My dog is definitely big enough to do this).

I came down with an illness that did not allow me to use my fingers, legs or brain.  Sadly, it also precluded me from using any sort of household device that involved cleaning.

I was abducted by extremely attractive aliens with a gorgeous sense of humour and a suggestively shaped *wink* space craft.  Oh what fun we had taunting those nitwits from the Andromeda Galaxy.

The CIA entered my home (and remember,  I don’t live in the US so this highlights the importance I have with this agency) and confiscated all electronic devices.  Including the fish tank filter and the toaster(?).

Due to an error on behalf of the Education Department, I was forced to re-attend primary school for a month.  I failed maths, again.

My muse stole my credit card and went on a round-the-world trip (without me).  I’ve been working with Interpol to track that @#$%! down.

And finally: I’ve been on the run from the authorities after an incident involving a gerbil, a sandwich maker and those idiots from the Andromeda Galaxy.

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Editing.   A writer’s worst nightmare.   Actually I don’t mind editing.  I like the opportunity to fix embarrassing spelling errors, make sure my characters don’t randomly wander off, or have sex with the wrong person (unless I say so) and generally make sure my story makes some sort of cohesive sense. (more…)

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I’ve written before on this blog about secondary characters taking over.  The first time it happened wasn’t so bad, as the hero and heroine weren’t interested in each other.

So I was rather grateful for my secondary character to step into the role of hero.  He’d been trying to take over the story anyway, so it was a simple case of substitution.  With the added bonus that my former hero suddenly emerged as a far more interesting character. (more…)

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Shakespeare’s line from Romeo & Juliet, that roses would still smell good even if they were called bum fluff  works well in a tale where everyone dies (almost).  But I wonder, would it have been as romantic if they’d been called Nigel & Mildred?

What’s in a name?  Well that’s my point. I believe character names are particularly important and the connotations we put on them can add a whole new depth to a hero, heroine or villain.

Not necessarily a good one, but sometimes the cause for snickery snorts at any rate. (more…)

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A while ago a tale consisting of ‘purple prose’ made its way onto my paranormal romance writing email loop (try saying that fast after a few drinks) and has since appeared on Liana’s blog: http://crummynovels.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/semen-at-sea/

The author of Semen at Sea – Katalina Leon, did such a wonderful job of writing this excellent example; I left a comment suggesting she try her hand at more wet and salty adventures. Or perhaps even a period cod-piece. (more…)

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