Yeah, so I believe my last post was entitled And It Emerged From The Depths…  I should have added – Then Slunk Back.

I haven’t posted in recent…months (geez has it been that long?) despite promises to myself (so easily broken – God, I’m in such an unfaithful relationship with my Id, Ego and Super-Ego (who I like to call Fred)).

Okay, so let’s get the excuses over and done with.  Why do bloggers always offer excuses for not blogging?  It’s like apologising for eating all the chocolate cake (something I often do – quietly, so the children don’t find me mwahahaha – I’m so devious).  Ah, anyway, on to my excuses before I run over my word count.


Had a baby (4.110kg/9lbs 1 ounce) which kept me nauseous and exhausted for oh, about 9 months.

Wrote an 80k manuscript whilst being nauseous, exhausted and expectant.

Became a finalist in the RWAustralia Emerald and the San Diego RWA SIRContest.

Was briefly on the run from the police in the Italian Alps in a stolen Veyron (my dream car) with a Faberge egg and a poodle named Alphonse.

Wrote a cantata while learning the harmonica in the Appalachians.

Okay, so I made those last two up.  I loathe poodles and can’t speak Italian, nor play the harmonica.

Suffice to say, I’m back and shall endeavour to be here more often around the needs of  small human people who inhabit my house (as well as the larger hairy one*) and the sequel to my manuscript which is demanding exit from brain onto computer.

I had better go train my Dragon** now, but I shan’t be too far away.  There’ll be a little some-some on my other blog if you’d care to wander over.

*This would be my husband.  I do not have a large hairy house, despite my best endeavours.

**Dragon Dictate that is ; )

Yes, despite the promises, the excuses, the lies (oh the lies!), I haven’t posted as regularly as I once (often) promised myself.

I’ve been in the depths of creativity (which is not as well lit as you’d expect).  As a result I’ve got a short story done, bar the shouting, screaming, wailing and crying – which is also known as editing.  The fruits of my labour will appear in an anthology to be published February 2012 alongside esteemed names like Mel Teshco and Tracey O’Hara and Rhian Cahill.

I’ve also entered one of RWAus’s most prestigious awards – the Emerald.  Now I need to write 60k by February on the off chance I get into the next round (which requires a full ms – of which I have, um 30k from 90k done).  This not only illustrates how busy I shall be over the coming months, but also that I have a good grasp of basic mathematics.  Which I’m rather chuffed about, as maths in general makes me break out in a rash and look around helplessly for a calculator or someone else to blame.

Because of upcoming events, I’m investing in Dragon Dictate.  This has caused many a laughing comparison (not on my behalf I assure you) in our household to the children’s movie ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ as I will now have my own Dragon to train – i.e. recognising my speech patterns so I don’t end up with ‘He shitted nervously’ when I really meant ‘He shifted nervously’.

I shall leave you now – to slide silently and mysteriously back into the writing abyss.  Yes, okay, it’s more like wallowing in a kiddies wading pool and throwing a tantrum after too many lollies.  But you get the basic gist.

Socialising Like Mad

I was invited, quite some time ago, but the estimable Liana of Crummy Novels, (http://crummynovels.wordpress.com) to join her on Google +, the answer to those fed up with the time sink that is FB.

Being generally slack, and on the run from giant gerbils from the Andromeda Galaxy, I did not immediately take up her generous offer.

Getting back to the 20 million emails in my inbox, I saw that quite a number of people were having extremely vexatious problems with FB.

Being a homo sapien who finds social media a wee bit overrated (who really cares about the fact Kelly has acquired a new set of fake nails!!! and is just so hungover!!! but is enjoying the new ‘find your soulmate puppy’ app!!!)I was wary.   There are so many social platforms to choose from – was I picking the correct one with which to launch my writerly genius on an unsuspecting public?

FB is, as I may have mentioned, a way in which to waste time without quite realising it.  I’ve not got into Twitter for I am far too verbose to get a message across in such a limited word count and would end

up cutting it off and having to post another tweet just to finish

what I was saying.

So I was circling Google circles warily, much like a mouse would a piece of cheese suspiciously left on a metal plate mounted on a wooden platform.

Feeling like the only person on the planet (apart from Ms Liana) who had heard of Google + (and feeling rather smug at being ahead on new things for a change), I was rather startled to discover that any number of my writerly friends, possibly having got the shits with FB, have joined and starting circling on the Google.

Discovering that I will not be a Nigel with only one Google friend – I have decided to dip my toe back into the foetid waters of the social media wave and circle like a shark in a feeding frenzy.

Or maybe just a guppy with only one pectoral fin.

Excuses, excuses…

Yep, I’m about to make excuses for being awol from not only this blog, but my other blog and my writing loop.  Just to make things interesting, I shall be giving a variety of excuses for you, dear reader, to choose from.  Just in case one doesn’t gel with your view of things, you can choose one that might.

So here they are, in no particular order:

The dog ate my laptop. A new spin on an old excuse.  (My dog is definitely big enough to do this).

I came down with an illness that did not allow me to use my fingers, legs or brain.  Sadly, it also precluded me from using any sort of household device that involved cleaning.

I was abducted by extremely attractive aliens with a gorgeous sense of humour and a suggestively shaped *wink* space craft.  Oh what fun we had taunting those nitwits from the Andromeda Galaxy.

The CIA entered my home (and remember,  I don’t live in the US so this highlights the importance I have with this agency) and confiscated all electronic devices.  Including the fish tank filter and the toaster(?).

Due to an error on behalf of the Education Department, I was forced to re-attend primary school for a month.  I failed maths, again.

My muse stole my credit card and went on a round-the-world trip (without me).  I’ve been working with Interpol to track that @#$%! down.

And finally: I’ve been on the run from the authorities after an incident involving a gerbil, a sandwich maker and those idiots from the Andromeda Galaxy.

Here, there…everywhere

What the heck am I doing?  I’ve already got on ms on the go and I’m editing another one.  I have a couple that are languishing half-done in their folders and what do I do?

What is completely natural.  I start a new ms.  I’ve justified this with some damn good excuses, even if I say so myself…  I’ve been battling a particularly virulent virus for three weeks that refuses to leave, and in between bouts of sickness I can’t concentrate worth a damn.  Not good when you’re handling angels – those boys are harder than you think.  *wink*  Ah, I also justified my new ms with the idea it would not be huge – a mere 10…20…30k  not the usual 90-130k which is my range.

Knocked over in a week I assure my stern school mistress self (who lectures me on not finishing current projects).  I reassure this incarnation that I’m doing well on my editing of the vamps and my angels are okay without me and knocking out a few quickies is good for me, in between naps of course.

But am I fooling myself?  Is this just a pathetic excuse to avoid the grind of editing, the creative exhaustion of wrangling angels?  Or am I just being super efficient.  Working on one ms while stalled on another and out of energy to edit a third?

Or do I simply fear school mistress me and the fact she may well have a big stick?

Strangely Sensual

Am I the only one who finds odd moments in movies sensual?  Maybe it’s not the right word to use, but I need to keep up with my blog posts and today I’m in my sensuality folder so I’ll write and be damned.

Then again, I can’t think of another word I’d use for those moments, except perhaps frisson.  I’ve often noted that a scene, whether it’s in a book or a movie, doesn’t have to be overtly sexual in order to still carry an erotic nuance.

Sometimes, people going at it, with the heavy breathing and the thrashing and the nipple shots etc. isn’t all that sexy.  Whereas, I was caught by surprise when watching the King and I (the Deborah Kerr/Yul Brynner version) by a scene which struck me as particularly sensual.  It’s where Anna is teaching the King to dance and he grasps her in a proper waltz hold while telling her this is how he saw the Europeans do it.  Swoon…

Another was in Aliens (which I watched again last night).  The scene where Hicks is showing Ripley how to use an assault rifle is overlaid with a wonderful awareness and sensual tension – blink and you’d miss it, but it’s there.

Raising your eyebrows in disbelief?  Get your sexy on and watch these movies – it’s often the most subtle things that are amazingly sensual.

After all – chocolate doesn’t explode in your mouth like a salt and vinegar chip (crisp).  No, it slides sinfully, lusciously over your tongue, coating it in velvety sweetness.

Romantic Confusion

Okay, I have to admit it here and now – the whole genre/sub-genre/classification thing, that seems to predominate the romance sector of the literary world, is confusing me.

I thought I wrote romance.  Then I found out that what I write is termed ‘paranormal romance’ (cause I generally write about a variety of creatures you won’t find down the back of the couch).  Okay, seems simple enough you say (I hope you’re saying that or I’m going to look like a right idiot).

Yes it is simple.  However… here is just some of the rest of the menu: single title, category, erotica (which is not the same as erotic, which is different from sexy), contemporary, romantic suspense, romance with paranormal elements, paranormal with romantic elements, sci-fi with romantic elements, romance with fantasy elements or you can have a paranormal romantic sci-fi fantasy with other elements (possibly a small iguana named Ignatio).

I’ve had to ask (quietly, with much embarrassment) exactly what people were talking about when they’d mention something.  For e.g. I thought YA was something to do with a Village People revival (and being the abbreviation generation the middle two letters had been cut).  Steampunk completely confounded me – did it have something to do with an industrial laundry run by punks?  Single title – well, wouldn’t a book only have one title?  Did we have to give our work two?  Why hadn’t I heard of this?  What the heck is contemporary as opposed to urban – and can you have both?

Now I have a handy printout so that when someone mentions they’re writing an ST contemporary romance with paranormal elements aimed at the YA market, I actually know what they mean.

And, after much deliberation, I do believe I may be writing an erotic paranormal action romance with human elements.

Otherwise known as a book.